Craziness and Foolishness and Madness

live_with_hysteria

Sometimes — Okay, let me take that back. Most times. Yes, that  seems more fitting. Most times, with all the information I glean and gather from the various blogs and websites that I keep in my Bloglovin feed and the numerous newsletters I subscribe to, it’s so easy to get lost in their world. It’s all too easy to get mesmerized and awed by those pretty pictures and insightful posts. To borrow Conor Oberst’s words, “I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details.” And no truer words were spoken (or sung, really).

It has taken me quite some time to pick at the bits and pieces of all the stuff I have collected from the internet over the years. And then because I felt like I was indulging in too much information but producing nearly nothing, I sat down with myself and had a not-so-long yet serious conversation. With all these handed to me with such ease and accessibility, what have I done with them? Furthermore, what good things have I done with them? The answers I eventually had to unearth and come face to face with was pretty much like a slap in the face because I produced PRETTY  MUCH NOTHING. I produced nearly nothing because I was so busy trying to become one of them that I forgot myself. I spent innumerable hours consuming articles about various things. I saved them with Pocket, read them and filed them in my head for later consideration when I brainstorm on THE blog post that I will come up with soon. Only to realize that none of my plans came to fruition. I was so busy wanting and trying my hand at those shiny, new things that I forgot my roots. And my roots are writing and storytelling. While I am knowledgeable enough with the awesome world that is web design and development, I am truly one hundred percent at home with crafting stories. I am not saying I’m good at it, though. It’s just that with writing, it feels  like… home.

This is what passion should feel like: Coming home to a place where, even when something gets misplaced or broken, you are still able to sit on the couch (or your bed or even your roof) comfortably and do whatever it is you do best. It is that one place that you are willing to take risks just to make things you want to happen actually happen. And you do it with fire and grit and gut. And heart, of course.

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