“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.”
― Robert Hand
I rarely talk about my personal life here. This is a personal blog but I rarely get personal. (Oh, the irony!) I’m pretty much the same offline, if you must know. If there is anything I like to keep quiet about the most, it’s these two things:
- my family
- who I date (or don’t date, for that matter)
My family is the loud, cheerful type who likes cracking jokes and loves coming up with silly one-liners. We are not the Addams family and I’m pretty sure we had no one killed. At least, last I checked all the closets in the house… Kidding. I am just kidding. We are your normal, run-of-the-mill family.
My surname is kind of a giveaway if you’re from here. And as far as I can remember, ever since I was a child and had enough sense in me to at least grasp the weight of what this surname means, I grew to dislike it. I grew to dislike it A LOT. It didn’t happen often but there will be some girls (schoolmates) who would pick on me, not just because I was small and pale and skinny, not just because I was quiet and did not fight back, but because of that surname. Once, a teacher even picked on me for the same reason. There were times I was the target of ire simply because I was carrying that surname. Add to that the petty fights and vicious gossiping among some of my other relatives, where something innocently said or done was blown up to disgusting proportions. As I grew up, I associated that surname with those things. As I grew up, I learned to separate myself from that surname and instead not let it define who I am. I stepped away from it and slowly but surely made my own identity, sans the surname.
As for the dating department… I have been known to be that picky person who puts a shelf life on dates (or boyfriends). I am that picky person who has potential dates but I always find reasons to not make them stay. It even got to the point wherein I won’t date any guy AT ALL because just the thought of getting all dolled up and meeting a guy and starting the “getting to know you” stage all over again had me feeling exhausted. It’s funny because out of all the songs this weird, wide, crazy world has to offer, two of them that I can relate to the most are from Taylor Swift’s “1989” album. And jeez. I am not even a Taylor Swift fan. (Although yes, some of her songs are fun to listen to.) One song I am talking about is “Shake It Off.” Honestly, when I first heard this song, I’m like, “Here goes another song that bashes someone.” I was not too far off the mark. “Shake It Off” is for putting her haters in their place. Now when someone, whether at work, with neighbors or within my social circle, makes it a point to pick on me for reasons that are beyond me, this is the song I play.
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Everyone, sing along with me now! 😀
And another T. Swift song that comes up next is “Blank Space.”
New money, suit and tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain’t it funny, rumors fly
And I know you heard about me
So hey, let’s be friends
I’m dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend…
But you’ll come back each time you leave
‘Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream
Do you also have personal stuff that you rarely talk about for reasons only you (and your closest, closest friends) seem to understand?