On Changes and Perceptions

EVERYTHING CHANGES

Each one of us has something we are fighting for, be it a thing or a person or perhaps a circumstance. And mostly, the thing or person or circumstance we fight for changes us. We are never the same during and after. I should know because I learned this the hard way last November of 2015.

My father was diagnosed with stage four cancer. That news hit me pretty bad. The things that used to seem like such a huge deal suddenly seemed so small and trivial and petty. I was willing to let go of all the other things in my life, if not put them on hold, because it meant putting my father and my family first. My priorities were rearranged. My viewpoints about most things in life changed. I have changed. I realized that for the most part, the things I care about are things that I could do without. It was this particular piece of news that gave me insight and backbone. It was a twofold circumstance: the same thing that’s crippling me emotionally is the very same thing that is holding me (and my family) together.

Sure, I was not prepared for this kind of news and the changes that swiftly followed after it. At best, it put my life in perspective. And because of that, I have learned to cope with and accept the situation. For one thing, I am learning to live life without fearing what other people will think or say. I am learning new boundaries and pushing it. (I was thinking of taking a vacation alone. I have the feeling this will do me good.) I have learned to be more conscious of time and realize — really realize — that the quality of life is directly proportional to what you make of it, be it small things or great things. Life is about learning and failing, laughing and making mistakes, testing waters and breaking through. Live life. Don’t just exist.

And to you reading this: If you are going through something, whatever it is, I hope that you are putting up a good fight. Hang in there. Do everything you can. Be strong. Have faith.

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