For years you have seen my desk here at work. And you know it’s not where the magic happens. NO. We both know coffee is where the magic happens. And the caffeine just naturally sends out tendrils of its mystical energy that makes us sit up straighter in our chairs and basically make it possible to act like passable human beings in the office.
How’s it going there? All is fine here, where the weather alters from high tension to a happy, balmy vibe laced with invisible fright. Sometimes, we get storm clouds and I am only armed with the maroon bonnet that Jeena gave me. As if I could fold myself several times and magically disappear into it when bad vibes threaten to swallow us whole over here.
My Facebook account is still deactivated, so we won’t be able to communicate via its awful, awful messenger. You’re not active in Instagram (so I… uh, IstoppedfollowingyouandIamverysorry!!) and you have no Twitter. And no Snapchat, too. I’m willing to bet my life and even my firstborn on you not having Snapchat. (Dear future firstborn, I am sorry in advance if B happens to have a Snapchat account because as of this moment, SHE OWNS YOU FROM EACH STRAND OF YOUR HAIR ON THE HEAD RIGHT DOWN TO ALL OF YOUR TOENAILS. May the odds ever be in your favor.) I honestly don’t know how we still manage to be close friends when we’re awful at keeping up with each other. Oh, wait. That must be the same reason why we’re friends! (Did that even make sense? More importantly: Am I still making sense?)
Tangent coming ahead, but the good kind:
Remember this movie? 😀 I found out that you favored Tuck. I didn’t think you’d be attracted to guys with tattoos. I think your decision is based mostly because you like his British accent. Like, he could talk forever until kingdom come. And you’d wear sunglasses as he talks, so you could shield your eyes from the bright, blinding light emanating from him because, you know, he has this beautiful (oh sorry — lovely), delectable British accent. But then again… B! There’s FDR!
That mischievous, bad boy charm and piercing blue-eyed gaze get me every time. You did justify Tuck because he’s a good, nice man. Let me take this moment to point out my opinion on the matter by throwing in this dialogue between Reese Witherspoon and Chelsea Handler in that movie:
Lauren (Reese): Tuck is great. He’s sweet, he’s — We have so much fun. More fun than I’ve ever had in my entire life. But he’s… maybe too sweet? A little earnest? Um… sort of safe.
Trish (Chelsea): Yeah. That’s boring. I almost fell asleep listening to that.
And we both know what scene came next, because Tuck felt like he had to redeem himself. Haha! Our tastes in men differ so much and again I ask: Why are we even friends?! 😀
Articles about productivity and having a minimalist lifestyle keep popping up in my news feed. I like to keep things organized, which you know all too well, B. But to actually keep a to-do list for my own personal life? Are you kidding me? I can barely pull myself out of bed during mornings. Weekend mornings. 9 AM is like midnight for me. Can’t say I didn’t try that “organized life” approach. It’s just not me. I’d rather wing it everyday. Something goes wrong? Okay, let me make the best of what’s around to solve it. And if I could cheat and pull something from being resourceful, allow me. Oh, what? Something goes right? Great! Awesome! Let’s celebrate, hop on a bus or a train or a plane and have tea and biscuits with Prince Harry. Sounds good, yes? Oh, wait. You don’t like Prince Harry? Shame… Shame on you, B. That man is the best combination of bad boy charm and proper demeanor when the occasion calls for it. Fine, we’ll stick with having coffee at Starbucks and pretend we’re in an exotic location like Brazil or the ends of the Earth or somewhere where unicorns slide down rainbows and leprechauns twerk while they search for pots of gold. Actually, I can go anywhere with you. Aww… 🙂
And now we proceed to sponsored nonsense, brought to you by either too much coffee or too little coffee. Sometimes, it’s also brought by the office itself:
TRUTH IN MY WORK DESK:
- I have my own Avaya here but I rarely get calls. When I do, they’re looking for an entirely different person. When that happens, sometimes I want to pretend to be that person. Just to see how it would go.
- I really need a bigger desk. I may be a small person but my desk needs to be bigger, so it can accommodate all the thoughts and ideas percolating in my head. (What?!)
- Also, I need to start pinning more photos. Right now, it all looks so sad. I only have coffee, “Shutter Island” and “Jaws” to keep me company. Here, unfiltered:
And now, to entertain you because I know how
stressed you are you need something amusing right now. Plus, I know you can relate to, if not already know, most of the items here:
TRUTH OUTSIDE THE OFFICE, LITERALLY BEYOND OUR BUILDING:
- Panicking will not help when you’re in the elevator and you see each and every floor through the small gap between the elevator doors as you go down. What will help, though, is that you rush outside as soon as the doors finally open. Then breathe in and out (eight counts), ending with a scream as you run outside, straight into the main streets.
- That venue across the street where they hold concerts and basketball games and such will only be enjoyable for us here when there are no concerts, basketball games and such because when they do have one, cars litter the streets and the whole world — nay, the whole universe — seems to decide to hold one big party and it makes going out a challenge. But then again…
- …that Starbucks a stone’s throw away IS a good thing.
TRUTH ABOUT WORK:
- Right now, it’s work, work, work, work, work. Figuring out spreadsheet data, coding, resolving website errors, replying to emails, attending online meetings (to anyone who heard my voice during those conference calls, I AM SO VERY SORRY), and of course, pretending that I know what I’m doing even though I don’t. At times it’s like, “Oh my God, what is this even about?”
- I put on my headset and drown in music while crossing off a task / project in my to-do list because I might fall asleep somewhere between starting a new task and replying to an email.
- I sent you a Skype message, knowing you’ll reply and hoping you’ll be available for a call. Half the time, you do. The other half, you don’t. Like last Tuesday, at 8:28 AM Miami Time. Who’s not being a good friend now?
TRUTH ABOUT YOU AND ME:
- I don’t know why we’re even friends, when we’re so completely different. And yet…
- I love how we get each other’s sense of humor. Plus…
- I wouldn’t miss this for the world: Your recommendations of Ellen videos!
- That video clip of Bradley Cooper and Jimmy Fallon laughing for no apparent reason. We watched that at the same time and were laughing, tears in our eyes. And we didn’t even know why we found it so hilarious
- We’re still going to be terrible at keeping up with each other but you know and I know that the next time we do talk, it’ll be like days haven’t lapsed into weeks. We’ll talk like we only saw each other yesterday (or given our shifts at work: last night). And that conversation will be good / great / the best, as usual.
TRUTH ABOUT RIGHT NOW:
- Rose is a Justin Bieber fan. True story.
- The a/c temperature in the office fluctuates, ranging from effin’ cold to can-it-get-any-colder-than-this?
- I wish you were still my seatmate.
- I’m restless.
- I’m swamped with work. You’re swamped with work.
- But you’re not available in Skype.
- I’m still restless.
- I’m thinking: It’s too bad you weren’t there with us last Saturday. I was really looking forward to both of us being in zombie mode because nothing spells slow suicide like going straight from the night shift right up to brunch and then movie. Haha.
With that said, let me leave you with this wise, wise saying that is very much appropriate to our closeness:
Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care. The rest are just curious.
You know I care (about you)… Although there are times I am simply curious. So I dig some deep, dark secret for blackmail one day. Haha! You know I’m kidding. I will see you and the other girls on Saturday. Until then, try to stay awake and keep yourself as stress-free as possible.
You know you love me. Xoxo.