Burning Bridges but Not Really


You know that state of being awake but not really? That odd place where you’re aware of what’s real and yet you can’t quite shake off that sluggish feeling and the fogginess in your mind? That was where I was yesterday, when I woke up. My initial thought then was, “I want my old life back.” But then, once I registered that sentiment, let it echo and roll around my head, I thought to myself, “No. That’s not quite right. I can never take back my old life. But I can take back my life.” That made much more sense.

Moral of that story: It’s true. The best ideas / thoughts pop up when you’re awake but not so much.

So. Taking back my life. The bad news is that I have let a couple of things slide down the drain, if not put up on the shelf, collecting dust and cobwebs. The good news is that even though the past couple of months (starting late last year) have been rough and trying, somewhere along those months I…

  • met someone awesome (Hello again, stranger!) who made me realize good things about life and myself, PLUS I gained a good friend. Ha! Beat that!
  • managed to watch “Captain America: Civil War” and still go to work even though I only slept for no more than three hours
  • made the time to catch up with one crazy but fun friend
  • am back to devouring reading books (I am about to finish Neil Gaiman’s “Trigger Warning” and I am loving it so far.)
  • am thankful for the gift of family and real friends
  • gained a little more self-confidence
  • have great TV series all lined up, waiting for me to watch them
  • still have my job, which I absolutely love (Websites! Yay!)
  • discovered Snapchat
  • was able to finally buy Victoria’s Secret “Secret Charm”

Speaking of social media: I finally reactivated my Facebook last Thursday (Friday?) and, well, I basically updated my profile photo, just dumped a new batch of photos, and I’ll probably pull another Houdini after that. Guys, don’t you know? Twitter is where it’s at. And Instagram. And Snapchat.

I have so much stuff going on and while I acknowledge and accept the bad things, I want to spend my energy on the good stuff. I want to throw around those good things and spread goodness and happiness. My God. I sound like I’m on crack but it’s the truth. And I solemnly swear that I am neither on crack nor drunk as I type all this.

I remember reading something from an old book series, “Fearless.” A girl was asked why was she so generous (in more ways than one)? And she said she received so much love from her family that she wanted to throw that love around, that she can afford to give so much love to those around her because she had a lot to give. I was sixteen when I read that book and thought, “Wow. What a beautiful thing to say.” I still think it’s a beautiful thing to say until now. And a beautiful thing to apply to our lives. We get enough crap everyday. I want to be the kind of person who leaves a sense of indelible kind of goodness and warmth and happiness with people she gets to meet along her path, for the sole reason that I want to leave something good behind when my time comes. Plus points in knowing that I have touched some of those I met along the way.

This is it for me for now. Have a wonderful week ahead. May you all shine bright like diamonds and be just as tough and beautiful!




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