Mid-week Notes: British accent, hipster coffee, and the hot / crazy matrix


Rain. Nothing but rain the past couple of days this side of the globe. I am not a fan of rainy weather. I just find the gray skies bleak and the rain is never romantic. Rain equals getting my shoes wet during my commute, okay? I am not a fan of wearing wet shoes, either. But like everything else in this world, there are always good things in spite of the rain. (Ha! See what I did there?) I have read somewhere that it helps to write at least three things (good ones, if you want to be the modern Pollyana amidst today’s violent and crazy world) each day. I tried to write them for five straight days but oops! I started getting lazy. On the brighter side, I managed to dredge a few things that recently happened. They are neither earth-shattering nor life-changing but they did make me smile and laugh.

Sigh & Swoon

I was standing in line and the guy before me started talking to the girl behind the counter. By the time he reached his second sentence, I closed my eyes and drank in whatever he was saying because, you know, BRITISH ACCENT = SWOON. Never mind that he was asking about the location of the main branch where he could claim his money. He had me at, “So are you saying there is no way I can get it here?”


Me? A Hipster? What?!

I discovered recently that changing two things in my usual Starbucks order made a huge difference to me. Excited for reasons even I do not know, I told some of my workmates about it. And then I told my sister my new(ish) order: cafe latte, soy based, light ice, venti. To which she promptly burst out laughing, telling me (not for the first time) that I am such a hipster. Now I’m flummoxed. Hipster, basic bitch, fuckboys. New labels I cannot wrap around my head. Clearly, I am getting old and I struggle with catching on to those darn kids’ new slangs / terms.


The correlation between 5 and 8 that had me laughing

Have you guys seen this video? It’s where a man discusses the hot / crazy matrix using a whiteboard, marker, graph, and his great sense of humor. There is the no-go zone, danger zone, wife zone, and my personal favorite: the unicorn zone. This line had me laughing like some crazy hyena:

“Below a 5 crazy and above an 8 hot, this is your unicorn zone. These things don’t exist. If you find a unicorn, please capture it safely, keep it alive. We’d like to study it and maybe look at how to replicate them.”

For those who need something visual to visualize the graph in your mind’s eye:

crazy hot matrix

I watched this video over and over again. And each time I did, I cannot stop laughing. It’s that good, yes. If you find humor in the ridiculous, watch the video here. My dear male readers, please keep the stiff upper lip and never stop hunting for the unicorns. They are out there somewhere. And remember: You can waddle in the fun zone indefinitely but should you feel moved or inclined to, leap across the date and wife zones. Steer clear of those gas lighting, tire slashing women. Know the girls you’re dating. Okay?




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