Those times Charlie Puth’s tweets were exactly me

I have been posting in Facebook some tweets from Charlie Puth. That is to say, tweets that he sent out in that social media stream. I am pretty sure I’m not the only one in this, especially if you love words: Whenever I come across something I’ve heard or read and it resonated or stirred something in me, I have this fiery, consuming need to jot it down. (I always have my trusty and well-worn pocket notebook with me wherever I go.) And in this day and age, sharing those gems are made even better, all thanks to social media. So that’s exactly what I did: Posted in Facebook some Charlie Puth tweets.

So I posted some and lo and behold! There weren’t much comments there in Facebook, but days later my friends remarked on how something must be going on with me based on my recent posts. So I impulsively sent out a Facebook status update, saying those were tweets from Charlie Puth. I haven’t posted much since then. With Facebook, it’s always like this: I get all fired up and post stuff for days on end. Then BOOM! I stop, just like that.

Charlie Puth’s tweets are amazing most of the time. I know he tweets random stuff but GAWD. Such beautifully pieced together random stuff. I’d look at a tweet of his and I’m suddenly reminded of people and moments. And I think, “Yeah. This was exactly how it felt like that time.” Or his tweets would just amuse me, so I’d retweet it. (Posted some in Facebook, too.) And now, without further ado, here are some of my favorites:
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How do you get the guys?

Success rate varies between a not-so-whopping 65% and an infinitely sad 7%.

So you’ve been eyeing that boy man for a while now. Maybe he’s a co-worker who caught your eye, maybe he’s someone you see regularly at the local coffeeshop and you are one stop short from stalking him. Who knows? Stranger things have happened. I am not here to judge your ability to stalk your crush via all forms of social media, the grapevine, or — heaven forbid — your “accidentally passing by his neighborhood” trips. Nay, I am here to help you out. Sharpen your man appeal and all that shit — jazz. Sorry, I mean jazz. And with that said, here are six pro tips that will make sure you catch his attention:
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How to Excel in Being Single: A Crash Course

You know how some people offer classes on web design or pottery or social media marketing? News flash!! I will not be offering any of those but I figured I could offer something more along my alley. Something I could 300% sink my teeth into, with scorching passion. I figured hey! I could offer a “How to excel in being single” class! This is the course every other female wants. (Sshh… It’s okay to want to enroll in this make believe course. Had this been offered years ago, while I was doting and dating on those types of men, I would’ve enrolled con rapidez!) One of my skills seem to be zoning in on the emotionally unavailable men. You’d think that after 90909876 dates, I’d have learned my lessons, but nope. You can’t make this girl give up her skill just like that. I mean, do you know the things I had to go through just to handle the hoops and whoops those boys threw at me? Where’s the fun in that if they’re not challenging enough, right? Right?

WRONG. If you’ve ever shown interest in someone and said someone seemed to like you back (important note: “seemed” is the key word here), only to get ghosted or dropped in the middle of flirty texts and smoldering locking of eyes (or lips, if you want… hehe!) then you can officially call me your bestfriend in the whole wide world — nay, UNIVERSE. You have come to the right blog, dearie, because guess what? This course I am talking about… *clears throat* So, I will not only make it a point to include gummy worms + vodka and pizza in my welcome packet. I will also make sure the location is somewhere awesome like the beach or a swanky hotel. And most importantly, I will offer you precious, precious classes to prime you for being seriously single.

a single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is unmarried. In common usage, the term ‘single’ is often used to refer to someone who is not involved in any type of serious romantic relationship, including long-term dating, engagement, marriage, or someone who is ‘single by choice’

Thank you, Wikipedia, for clearing that one up. Now all ye single ladies, forward… march! Or read more to find out the classes I have in mind that you could benefit from.
Continue reading “How to Excel in Being Single: A Crash Course”